the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
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