do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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