with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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