I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize