i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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