Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
