Cold hands, warm shart.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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