We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
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It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
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Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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