ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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