Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
