I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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