you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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