cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
