I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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