hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
