You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize