ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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