when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize