I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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