the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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