there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize