I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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