I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
