Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
