I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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