You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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