i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
