honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
