We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
