i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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