Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
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Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
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My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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