I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize