Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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