This is not my ceiling
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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