I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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