I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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