I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
