You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
