shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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