we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
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so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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