it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
