make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just want cinnabon and vodka.