neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize