I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?