And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?