my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It happened again.
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?