A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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