im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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