I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
