Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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