But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
