I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You were trust falling into bushes
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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