Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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