1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
