My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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