Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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