you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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