Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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