Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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