This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
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