My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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