Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
