you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
