Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
