so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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