Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I need a beard to bite.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize